Sometimes You Have to Allow Life to Happen

Honestly I am not the sort of person to just live my life.  I am a planner.  I thought when I was 18 that I would go to college, get married at 23 have my two kids and my career and that my life would be set in stone by the time I was 30 with my two kids.  I did everything in my power to make that happen.  When my high school boyfriend and I broke up I did everything to find someone new and went through a very self destructive period.  Honestly I spent more time trying to control my life that I never looked at my life,  I never looked at what was happening and who was in my life.  I was spending so much time working twards this goal of perfection that I didn’t realize what I wanted.  I got to the point that I knew the idea of what I wanted, but not what I really wanted.  Durring this time a lot of emotionally heartbreaking things happened and I emotionally couldn’t deal.  Finally, I decided to follow a childhood dream and join the Peace Corps.  This was the best decision I have ever made.  The Peace Corps, maybe Bulgaria in general, had taught me to allow life to just happen.  To live my life and not to be working twards the single minded goal of perfection.  I have found more happiness in the last 10 months of allowing life to happen, then the previous 25 years of planning my life.  I have learned who my friends are and who truly cares about me and who really loves me, and I am eternally grateful for this.